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Wed January 17 2018

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(PS, once you pick one social media platform to log in with, stay with that one, or you'll get multiple accounts and we'll all get confused and sad.)

By Eric Krug

April 2018

Last Gas ComedyFollow3,5231,206

French Canadian Montana @PeezyTX·

It's pudding but with booze in it and the marketing is towards men and the commercial is Sam Elliot saying "The Proof.... Is in the Pudding"

1 9

Chip Pope @ChipPope·

Tim and Eric, or a legit food truck?

11 74

Johnny Hondaboy @enagurney·

Just got word from Chad and Axel, if we fit 40 freshmen into a phonebooth, Bill Maher will lecture our senior prom

3 6

lisa freedrinks🥃@lisacfriedrich·

I just got mad someone spelled katt Williams name wrong, so I'll put myself to bed now.

1 3

A S S T H E T I C @Derekomedy·

"wow, you two are serious huh?" "yeah, we fill each other's voids." "that's wildly inappropriate."

2 1

Dr. Megan Simon @myspacemegan·

Do not tell your friends their first dance as husband and wife is a song that's also your alarm clock

1 11

andrew clarkston @clarkstunnin·

NO ONE HAS EVER SAID DR PEPPER WAS A MAN U SEXIST FUCK

45 259

Nick Saverino @SavandsomeRino·

About to throw the first pitch out at a Minor League Baseball game. Close enough

1 14

Kath Barbadoro (in Austin again come see my shows)@kathbarbadoro·

Please enjoy my favorite image on the net

5 113

Allison O'Conor @allisonoconor·

I hope that bird that landed on Bernie's podium is mentally and physically okay. I hope she's practicing self care

3 17

Sara June @heysarajune·

im wearing a dress with moons on it and a sober man looked me in the eyes and yelled "GRYFFINDORF"

1 10

Martha Kelly@MarthaKelly3·

This is an invite for a show in Austin but would've said yes anyway somebody please lure me into a basement I've seen enough up here.

7 60

Aaron Brooks @FunnyBrooks·

Coincidence that Bannon gets fired weeks after seeing that there's a cure for greyscale?

3 9

Susan Seranwrap @mkpaulsen·

At this point the Trump Administration should just call itself Vanilla ISIS

16 88

yusef roach @yusefroach·

Every comedian should be beaten after every joke, no exceptions

16 104

Arielle Norman @pooptampon·

Museums are the perfect place to go when on vacation with my wife, cuz that way she has something to do while I poop for 20 minutes.

1 12

The McCuewans @TheMcCuewans·

We wont be taking part in the eclipse. We haven't found a specific Bible verse against it but there's probably one in there somewhere

2 11

Bryan Gutmann @BryanGutmann·

Good god just try to imagine how insufferable Neil DeGrasse Tyson is gonna be today.

2 13

Marijuano Garcia @LeoGarciaComedy·

LinkedIn keeps reminding me that there are 38,000 jobs in my area if I was just someone else.

1 3

Tronald Dump @ChrisCubas·

Today is the perfect day to finish the Bonnie Tyler parody I started when I was 8 years old - Totally Shit When I Fart.

14 122

TOTILA'S WAR DANCE @MikeMacRaeMike·

I can't even stare directly at a person

110 366

Uncle Cool @PatDean·

I got fatcalled 😞

4 31

Martha Kelly@MarthaKelly3·

@PatDean I just got Patcalled™

2 12

Carina Magyar @CarinaTheMagyar·

Hands up if your kids just discovered that stamps are stickers and now you own a very expensive piece of construction paper.

2 18